My Teddy Is Art
Recently I’ve been packing and sorting my belongings ready for moving house and came across Teddy inside one the drawers in my wardrobe. Of course I knew he was there even though I don’t open that drawer very often. He is one of the few belongings that I have that I have a deep attachment to. He has been a constant for all of my 54 years. He’s lost most of his fur. The growl he used to have is more of a contented pur and he’s had some extensive cosmetic facial surgery which gives him an enigmatic smile reminiscent of the Mona Lisa. My Nana knitted him the scarf.
I’ve been thinking of putting Teddy on the wall as a piece of art in a display case in my new place. Sometimes, we have the idea first without really understanding where the idea has come from or why and it’s taken a while to understand some of the things that Teddy represents for me.
Childhood innocence and the carefree days before responsibility? Well yes, if you want to look at this superficially.
Teddy reminds me of the past, obviously, but he also reminds me that whilst we all have a past we can make a conscious choice not to be defined by it. I watched a Ted talk recently. One of those links you come across when looking for something else. I found it on LinkedIn. A short 2 minute snippet that led me to watching the full youtube. Which is unusual.
Atul Gawande -Ted Talk- 'Want To Get Great At Something? - Get a Coach
The final message was, and is, profound. “It’s not who you are now, it’s who you are going to be that is important.”
It’s a reminder that we have choices. I regularly say to clients that ‘awareness provides us the ability to exercise choice and choice provides opportunities for management’, or words to that effect. When we notice personal things, we have an opportunity to choose to pay attention and see what insights that brings.
Teddy reminds me about my own personal development and the knowledge, insights and transformations that this has brought and, I hope, will continue to bring. He reminds me to keep going.
He reminds me of the Japanese concept of Wabi Sabi. Partly this relates to the impermanence of things. The idea that everything is in a state of flux, growth or decay all of the time. Life is a process of constant change and evolution. In the process of decay lies the creation of growth. I am no expert on the concept of Wabi Sabi but I notice it where I see it. Certainly, in things that have been marked by the passage of time. Old furniture perhaps. A tree bent by the wind. A piece of driftwood on the beach. A childhood bear.
Wabi Sabi also reminds us that there is perfection within imperfection. That there is beauty within and ugliness is often the result of perspective. Similarly there is imperfection in perfection itself. It’s a reminder not to strive for the perfect. Like many ADHD adults I have a history of leaning towards perfectionism and whilst it's sometimes counterintuitive I’m trying to lean towards ‘good enough’. I’m getting more comfortable with this but it’s taken time.
Teddy reminds me about time. More specifically the passage of it. I sometimes have moments of existential time anxiety. So much that I feel I must accomplish, so little time. A caricature of the White Rabbit in Alice in Wonderland. I only need to look at Teddy to be reminded of how much time has passed. Which is a great prompt to remind me, when I need it, of how far my own personal journey has brought me. It’s the perfect counterweight.
He reminds me of Ed, someone I’ve worked with a lot. It seems that unlike me Ed has few ambitions for the future, preferring instead to derive as much enjoyment, knowledge and insight as possible from the present. To live in the now, accept what comes with curiosity and leave the future largely to take care of itself. Sometimes I need to be reminded to avoid a headlong rush toward fulfilling ambitions and realising goals and instead pay more attention to the enjoyment that is available in each passing moment.
I appreciate both art and beauty. I appreciate the hidden stories, hidden knowledge and hidden meanings behind these things. Art is representative and my old, worn, childhood bear represents and reminds me of so much. Who I was. Who I am. Who I am going to be.
Teddy is Art.